When I started in Matthew, just reading the genealogy was a struggle. Sometimes, I would make it as far as the sermon on the mount. Nevertheless, I did not quite read the Bible, in its entirety, for some time.
So, when I finally did read it through all the way, I was so excited! Wow! So much was there, that I had been missing! Yet, I was learning it now, and it was like a treasure hunt.
There were those things that I read, that I pretty much had to force myself to read, in order to truly read the Bible, in its entirety. I knew that there was a reason for everything written in it; even if I did not know the reasons, yet.
And...I am still learning. Granted, there are things I understand now, that I did not understand years ago. I am so thankful, too! It is so easy to become dependent upon a church, a pastor, a teacher, or someone else, for your thoughts on Biblical matters; never having a mind of your own. I have been blessed, with said persons, as I seek to understand the Bible. However, they do not constitute my thoughts.
Nowadays, I find that it takes even more effort on my part, to "get" something from the Bible. It used to be that every page was exhilarating: because it was all new! I am still encouraged and reminded of things I need to know, though it is not new to me. Yet, now I go on to the meat, and wean off of the milk.
Of course, I cannot just swallow meat, like I could with milk. I have to chew. That chewing takes time.
Oh, and, I have to cut it up, too. I cannot just take a piece of steak, and chew the whole thing! (Well, I could try, if I wanted to be barbaric...) I must use the proper utensils, and get it in bite-size portions.
Meat is much more effort on my part, than just drinking milk. But, oh, so much tastier! I am not going to experience things the same way, as when I was just starting in the Bible.
I guess if I keep approaching it as a baby to a bottle, I should expect the same results. Yet, if I tried to approach it as one with knife and fork in-hand, maybe I will get somewhere! What a novel idea, Renee! :)
Just discussing this matter has helped me see what I was not seeing. I am no longer a baby...I am in my adolescent years; at the very least, old enough to eat some meat. Milk is not going to sustain me as it once did, though I still need it for strong bones. ;) I need some meat in my diet, to give me good muscles. Therefore, I need to go about things differently.
Why did I not see it this way? Why did I stay so frustrated? I feel like one of those children who is way too big for the baby swing, but still tries to fit inside it, because they remember how much fun it was when they were younger. Do they not know how much more fun the larger, "grown up" swing will be? Sure, it may be a bit intimidating. Yet, it is fun, and you still get to swing!
God is so patient with me. All this time, I am asking for His help, and it is right in front of my face...I was just approaching things all wrong! I do not have to approach my Bible reading, as I once did as a young believer. It is okay for me to change it up, to suit my learning abilities. Oh, I am so glad for it, too! You may think it silly, but for me, this is a light bulb moment!
If any of you out there, who have been struggling as I have, with feeding from God's word, I pray this "revelation" gives you hope. Have you been approaching it, without adjusting it to your growth spurts? Maybe it is time to do it differently? Maybe we can share together the various ways God shows us how we can chew the meat.