KAH TEMPTATIONS, PART 6: MISPLACED PRIORITIES
Being a keeper at home brings many benefits. I even believe it brings many luxuries. What kind of benefits and luxuries could I be speaking of?
For starters, I get to set my own schedule. I am not required to subject myself unto another human lord, save my husband. Dear is a rather gracious and merciful lord, so he allows me the freedom to function as best suits me, (so long as my duties are getting done). He also has given me much liberty in assisting with others, or visiting others. He knows I generally like people. ;)
Being a keeper at home is only having two people to whom I must answer. I used to have many bosses; now, I only have two: God and Dear. It creates much more peace in the home.
One of the luxuries of being a keeper at home is being free. I am free to visit folks, free to run errands, free to sleep in, free from worldly dress codes, free to enjoy life! I am free to function in the role God created for me. Yes, a luxury indeed!
However, along with that freedom comes discipline. I must be disciplined to use my freedom not unto sinfulness, but unto godliness. Therefore, I must employ definitive boundaries.
An example is this: It is extremely easy for me to lazily go about my day. Unfortunately for me, when I do things in that nature, they are not accomplished. Then, Dear comes home to his poor steward of a wife. He has been working hard all day, so that I can stay home, and I have wasted my time.
Another one: It is easy to go and do anything else than stay at home. Visiting friends, shopping, running errands, visiting family…All things that are in and of themselves nothing wrong. However, when they supplement my duties at home, it is wrong. I should wait to do those things after meeting my first priority: my home.
Also, as a woman, especially one without children, it is easy for me to have the desire to meet needs/wants of others. While Dear is at work, and sometimes when he is home, I have been called upon to assist in some way.
When those calls come, I must ask myself, “Have I taken care of those things pertaining to my first ministry—my home?” If I cannot answer with a definite “Yes,” then I must decline.
Emergencies arise. When they do, Dear has allowed me to help in those times of need. However, if it is not an emergency, then I must allow the Lord to let another soul be a blessing in that request. If I neglect my family for the sake of another person, shame on me.
It is easy to do, though. It is also easy to look for things to do that are outside my domain, to keep me occupied elsewhere. However, it is amazing to know that if I simply ask the Lord to show me what He wants me to do to take care of my family, He will show me. He will not give me an answer contrary to His will. J
Of course, God always comes first, then my family (Dear, currently). There are many days I do not treat Him as such—doing chores, running out for an errand, helping others, etc., before even spending time with Him in prayer and reading. Nevertheless, first He is and first He must be, in order that my life be in order.
Once everything is in order, namely spending time with God at the beginning of my day, everything else has a good tendency toward right prioritization. I will take care of my home, (which includes God, Dear, and any future children), my main ministry in life. Then I can focus on other things/people that God has given me in this life in which/to which to minister. When things are in order and not chaotic, peace ensues.
So, as a keeper at home, I must avoid the dangerous pitfalls of not being properly disciplined to the priorities in my life. If I am not practicing godly discipline day by day, I will become frustrated and endure great stress. Instead of enjoying the peaceful bliss of living in the perfect will of God, I will suffer in the correction of being outside His perfect will.
Being properly disciplined to my priorities will also encourage proper boundaries. I will know when and how I can assist others, enjoy leisurely activities, etc., when I am following God’s will for my life:
- Daughter of God
- Wife of Dear
- Mother of dearies (maybe one day)
- Daughter to parents
- Sister to siblings
- Church member
- Member of society
I need to always be walking circumspectly. I need to use my position as a glory to God, and as a crown unto my husband. I needn’t allow the “needs,” or wants, of others (including myself), to override my clearly established priorities. I need to keep the right disciplines and boundaries in my life to protect me from trying to meet everyone’s needs/wants. It is a pitfall easy in which to succumb, if not always on guard for the subtleties of Satan, the flesh, and this world.
PROVERBS 31—A GOOD, GODLY EXAMPLE
10Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
31Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
It isn’t wrong to help others, but just like with the woman mentioned in Proverbs 31, she helped after meeting the needs of her family. She wasn’t being ungodly. She was simply keeping her priorities in place. It is better to pray for someone’s needs, than to go and try to meet their needs while your family is neglected.
SOME WAYS TO AVOID MISPLACING PRIORITIES
- Pray! Seek the Lord in prayer, and in His Word. He has many encouraging words to say to us, if we would but listen. J “Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.”—Psalm 119:105
- Go to your husband, and share with him your struggles. He is there to help you, guide you, provide for you, protect you, and so much more! I know that men aren’t perfect, just like women aren’t perfect. I know that there are unsaved men, just like there are unsaved women. Nevertheless, if you have a man following the Lord, take advantage of what the Lord has given you in him! If you don’t, then pray for him, and lean upon the Lord. Look within your church for a godly lady mentor, and definitely speak with your pastor for counseling. “A wise man will hear, and will increase learning; and a man of understanding will attain unto wise counsels:”—Proverbs 1:5
- Read! Study the word of God. Whatever ails you, read up on it in Scripture. If you haven’t a concordance at home, or one that isn’t very thorough, there is a free downloadable one @ www.e-sword.net. We have it on our computer, and it is a GREAT help! “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”—2 Timothy 2:15
- Take action! I know it’s easier said than done, but find ways in which to keep yourself at home, taking care of your family’s needs, first. Then, others’ needs/wants can come…Including our own selves. Christ’s example to us is putting others before Himself, and He asks us to do the same. I am selfish by nature, and it is a daily process to put others before me. However, as I daily seek His grace, and put it to good use, I can stand back and be amazed at what He does through me! “If ye love me, keep my commandments.”—John 14:15