We were discussing it due to the fact that we are keepers at home. If God ever so decided to bring our husbands Home prior to us, we were wanting to know our options. (The more I write this conversation out, the worse it sounds...) We started to see how truly dependent we are upon our husbands.
At one point I got choked up in the conversation. I started remembering how much my husband is my best friend. I find it extremely difficult to imagine a life wherein he does not exist. V felt the same about her husband.
Every now and then I do sit and try to imagine what I would do or be like if Dear passed away unexpectedly. I am not being morbid, only acknowledging that it could happen. Many people have approached me regarding the matter, especially since I am not working outside the home.
I do not wish to see us part, ever. I love Dear so much that at times my heart feels as though it literally aches when we're separated, for any reason. When I find myself thinking, or discussing, his possible passing, sadness overcomes me more than words could ever convey.
Dear is my all, outside of Christ. Christ is my ALL; Dear is my all. Just like Sarah called Abraham lord, Dear is my lord. Though I do not go around our home calling him such--in my heart, he is.
He is my best friend. He is my provider. He is my protector. He is my safe place to fall. He is my advocate. He is my counselor. He is my lover. He is all these things, and more.
I admire him so much. In spite of all his sin, he is so admirable in my eyes. He is funny, witty, charming...Oh, so much that makes my heart go "pitty-pat," and butterflies soar in my stomach. He is mine. (Reminds me of Song of Solomon!)
I do not put him on a pedestal. I realize I am to depend upon Christ. I know that my Heavenly Father is my PROVIDER, LORD, ADVOCATE, COUNSELOR, FRIEND, PROTECTOR, and MORE. However, God did tell husbands to love their wives as Christ did the church, and I am on the receiving end of a husband seeking to obey that command. (Ephesians 5)
So, from our conversation, I started observing how blessed I am to have a husband on whom to rely. I saw how blessed I am to have a husband who allows me to minister in so many wonderful ways, because he wants me to be a keeper at home. I saw how blessed I am to have a husband seeking to obey Scripture, thus helping me to obey Scripture toward him. Just as I am on the receiving end of Dear being like Christ, Dear is on the receiving end of me being like the Church. (Ephesians 5)
I know I am a competent woman. V and I discussed the thoughts that if our spouses passed on, that we would have to work if no one took care of us. We know we could get work, especially if we don't have a home business. We know, most of all, that God would take care of us and guide us through that type of situation. However, I know that despite my competency, I am most potent being in the role God has called me to be in, based on how He created me. He created me a woman, to be a help meet for my man.
The more and more I live my life, the more I feel as though Dear is more my help than I his. I feel as though the weights are imbalanced--that I got the better end of the deal than he. I feel as though he suffers more from my sins than I his. I get to enjoy such a blessed life in this beautiful role of help meet, keeper at home, lover, friend, playmate, etc. I am so glad Dear chose me.