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Being a KAH (Keeper At Home) is such an incredible blessing! My husband is not trying to stand in the way of my relationship with Christ...In fact, he greatly encourages it! I am a blessed woman. :)
As the years pass, I realize indeed how much of Titus 2:5 has to do with my relationship with the Lord. If the Lord tells me to do something, and I do it not, I have sinned against Him. If I listen to Him and obey, our relationship is all that much sweeter. Also, if my husband is not prohibiting me, how wonderful!
Why would my husband stand in the way of me being a KAH? Well, because of the thinking of the day, he could have very well said, "Honey, you have to help with the finances. I want you to get a job." Or, he could have said, "Honey, that keeping-at-home-stuff is not for our culture today. God doesn't expect you to be a keeper at home anymore. We don't have children, either, so it's really not that important." Or, he could have said a host of other things.
If he had said any of those things, or anything else for that matter in that regard, what would I have done? Well, if I wanted to be a stinker about it, I would have fought him on it. However, that would not have pleased my Lord, for in 1 Peter 3 God tells me to win my husband over by my conversation (lifestyle), with the hidden man of the heart. It is not my place to be the Holy Spirit, only be usable by the Holy Spirit. So, I would have submitted to my husband, if I was in the right frame of mind.
I said all that to say this: I am a blessed woman because my husband is obeying the Scripture, too. Due to his obedience, it makes it easier for me to obey. Since he sees the same verse I do, and believes God at His word, my husband is liberating me to the blessed call of my Father to be a kah.
I used to keep a secular job. I worked many hours. Then I would come home, be tired from a long day's work, and still be responsible for the management of our home. It wasn't conducive to my walk with God, or my relationship with Dear. There were many arguments, due to our physical tiredness, but also my/our spiritual weariness. Finally, when we both read over Titus 2, and other Scripture, it was clear to both of us that it was not the Lord's intention that I not be a kah.
Once I gave my secular boss my 2-weeks-notice, my spirit was delighted! It took a bit of adjustment for me to get back into the routine of being a kah, but it was sure worth it! Dear and I have greatly benefited by obeying this Scripture, as well as the others that coincide with it. It may not always be temporally, but we are nevertheless blessed. :)
Being a kah is a full-time job. I am constantly asked what fills my days, what I do while Dear is working...Things of that nature. Though we currently have no children, my days do still get full:
- I wake up.
- I pray thanks to God for another day in which He's allowed me to participate.
- I have my morning devotion.
- I start laundry.
- I start dishes.
- I make our bed.
- I feed the cats.
- I have breakfast.
- I brush my teeth and wash my face.
- If it's a Monday, I typically start doing my weekly cleaning: dusting, cleaning mirrors/glass, wiping down counters, cleaning the toilet and shower/tub, straightening up items, sweeping, mopping, cleaning sinks, wiping down walls/cabinets/etc..., vacuuming, garbage...The list can continue, depending on level of dirtiness/cleanliness.
- If it's a certain week, I go help M. Due to health concerns, the cleaning over there is much more detailed than at my home, so what would maybe take me 3-4 hrs. to do if it were just Dear and I living there takes me double that time for her. I don't begrudge it. We are so blessed to be allowed to help her in this way. While I'm indoors cleaning, Dear does her yard work, (after he is done with his secular job).
- Again, if it's a certain week, I go over to the other Ms. M.'s house. I am usually cleaning for 1 1/4 hrs. - 2 hrs. for her.
- I like running errands. It gets me out of the house. I don't mind being in the house, because by the blessedness of God it can be a safe haven in a world full of sin. However, errands must be run: I.e., groceries, bills, odds and ends...And I get to do them!
- I am available to be of assistance to folks (generally). Though my time slots do fill (mind you, I make sure to have time for just Dear and I, or for fellowship with folks...Rest and fellowship are crucial for sanity!), I try to be available when I can, and as the Lord directs.
- I cook/bake.
- I sew/mend.
- I scrapbook/make crafts, (from time to time).
This list is just a general idea of my days. The rest of the week is filled with whatever the Lord puts in it, or we put in it. I cherish my down-time, but know too much of it can lead to trouble. That trouble is what I'm going to be discussing in this new series.
KAH TEMPTATIONS, PART 1: OVER-SPENDING MONEY
How can someone who is being a kah over-spend money? It's actually quite easy. Regardless of having children, the temptation to buy, buy, buy is everywhere. That is one facet that makes America great, right? You can purchase to your *heart's* content. (*Heart* = lust)
Satan knows that a kah who occasionally gets bored, worn-down, or sees all those glorious sales can be tempted to spend that money! Whether it's justified, "We need all these groceries...We need that____." You fill in the blank. Deep down we know that all we're doing is justifying feeding the lust of our flesh, the pride of life, and the lust of the eyes. If we were honest with God, ourselves, and our spouse/family, we would admit that we want those things, not necessarily need them.
I am not saying those things wouldn't be useful. Indeed, food is useful. But, there is a balance of how much we have. As Proverbs 30:7-9 says:
"Two things have I required of thee; deny me them not before I die: Remove far from me vanity and lies: give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with food convenient for me: Lest I be full, and deny thee, and say, Who is the LORD? or lest I be poor, and steal, and take the name of my God in vain."
Do we really need umpteen pairs of shoes, just in case we have a visit by the President? Do we really need all those pieces of dishes? Do we need all that decor? Do we need the latest this, or that, or those? Can we be content with what we do have, and get only what we need? Can we allow God to decide when we can use His riches to purchase our wants?
I know the temptation. I have to face it every day. Being raised in a nation where you can get what you want, when you want it, and have partook in that tradition, it is second nature to me. However, when God saved me He set me on a new path.
That new path calls me to be a faithful steward. Just as I'm now practicing being a good steward of the body He has given me, I must practice it with the riches He bestows. He has allowed me to be His daughter, a wife, a kah, amongst other things. I must do His name well.
I do not want my husband working hard only to see his hard-earned money take off with wings and fly away. Yet, that is what I do to him every time I indulge in my lusts. I want to be a better help meet than that, and a better example than that. Why not be a better daughter to God than that, come to think of it?
I know better. I just need to put myself to being more disciplined that I've been. God's grace will be the only strength I have to overcome this nasty sin. God's grace is going to be what avails you, as well, dear sister in Christ. Why don't we be different than the others women out in the world and be just the way God wants us to be? We can be His dear children that do His name well, who seek His permission before spending His money...Who seek His permission on everything we do/don't do!
By His grace, Dear has been assisting me in this battle I have. He reminds me that if this, then that. If I'm smart, I listen to him. If I'm rebellious, I don't. He is patient with me, usually. :) God is even greater than he, and pricks my heart when I'm about to do wrong. I'm glad He cares for the details of my life. I'm glad He cares what I do and don't do. I plan on working harder to be submitted to Him, again, by His grace. Will you join me?
Some Ways To Avoid Immodest Spending
- Read God's Word. See what He has to say regarding our provisions, our wants, stewardship. "Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful." 1 Corinthians 4:2.
- Pray! When you feel the urge to splurge, seek the Lord! "But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up." James 4:6-10
- Let your husband help you. Most men want to help their wives, but we tend to get in the way of their help. "We can do it ourselves" attitude, or the "We don't need your help," thinking. Godly men will lift their wives up in prayer--let them! Admit to them your struggles, then let them as the Lord directs lead you to victory! God has placed them in the care over you, so let them do it. "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3
- Avoid situations that you know will throw you into temptation. For example, don't go grocery shopping on a hungry stomach! I've done that so many times, and ended buying way more than necessary! "See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, Redeeming the time, because the days are evil." Ephesians 5:15, 16
These are just a few ways to avoid sinning against the Lord in this area. If you have any other ways, please share! :)
**By the way, I'm linking up with Miss Gail for her Thursday Link-Up. Care to visit some other gals writing on home-making and such? Please do!