There is much I have learned from and of Him. I can see where He wants me to be different, and some of the ways that He has orchestrated to facilitate those changes. Whether they are situations or relationships, every experience is teaching me how I ought to be.
All this learning has not been easy. I am being molded; rough edges are been softened, and that which was too soft is receiving the right consistency: not too hard, not too soft. It has come with some heavy-duty stretching, bending, pulling, pushing....
Much tears have been shed. Much tears. Heartache that I would have never imagined has come into my life. Wisdom of which I have asked the Lord has been coming. Understanding, zeal, patience, compassion--those, too, unto them He added. It all, of course, has come by His own perfect way.
There are those things of which I seek the Lord, that I have yet to see an answer. Will I ever? I know not.
The things I have sought from Him and graciously received, I humbly and wholeheartedly appreciate. I could never have anticipated the life I am experiencing! I earned none of these blessings!
When I came back to the Lord, after a season of constantly yielding to the flesh rather than His Spirit, I knew I never wanted to hurt Him again as I had those few (but ever regretful) years. I knew I was "sold out," so to speak, to an uncompromising lifestyle. I, as the prodigal son, realized how good I had it, how shameful a brat I was, and how great a Father I had in God.
Now, sure, I have been guilty of giving in to this wicked, unregenerate body. Yet, within me is a burning flame to not yield to it, but Christ. So, He has been enabling me to do just that desire.
I can obey Him, because His Spirit resides within me. I enjoy obedience to Him, too! Can you believe it? Due to Christ's sacrifice of Himself for me, resurrecting and dwelling on High, saving me, I have liberty to love Him!
Oh, how I wish I could take back all those wasted years, and redeem them! Yet, I now know to redeem what time I am given, and tell others to redeem the time, instead of wasting it in sin. Sin is becoming exceedingly sinful, and Jesus exceedingly lovelier.
Since I belong to Him, and He's allowing me an opportunity (by reading His Word) to see sin as He does, it helps to make the shunning of it in my life easier. Sure, I am tempted to sin. Yet, it gives me an opportunity to express my love and devotion to my Creator when I choose Him over it.
I guess that is one of the reasons why I see so much going on in my life these days. I know part of it is because I asked for discernment of His dealings with me, rather than complacency and dullness. So, He gave me clarity.
Oh, how I appreciate Him! I love that He makes His will so easy, so accessible, so doable! It is just me that gets in the way...Yet, He is quick to point out my errors, and teach me the right way.
Oh, the blessings that come from true obedience to Him! Not just the doing, but the love that compels me! If only folks knew...How sweet it is to know you are loved by God, and that you can love Him...And, that by that love you are capable to forsake self for Christ...Yet, when you are willing to forsake all for Him, you gain everything...
...I know I am not in a position where my physical life is on the line for my faith. If that were the case for me, I pray I would be faithful to Him...For I know my flesh, but praise God He is strong when I am weak! Nevertheless, I have received opportunities to be proven, to be tried...And, I seek to be true to Him, come what may.
I thank God that He has given me an invaluable friend in Christ, and in Dear. Those two have been...Priceless. He has also given me a few others, real gems, in my friendship treasure chest. Some are new; some are not so new. All are far above rubies, truth be told.
So, I have learned much in this time. I have much to regularly practice. I have much more to learn. I am confident Christ will teach, and is teaching, me.