I enjoy being available to help in time of need. I also enjoy being home, having everything ready for Dear's arrival. I enjoy being able to commune with him: talk of our day, search the news together, watch a documentary together, eat dinner together...Be together. Such sweet pleasures!
Every day there is a new pleasure to be found in being married to him. Since we have been married, we have experienced much together. There have not been too many times wherein we were separated for extended time periods. I know that God may change our lives to where saying such a thing will be few and far between, so for now I soak up the precious time we get to have one with another.
We did not start our relationship right. Yet, God has transformed our marriage into a sacred entity that I never dreamed marriage to be. Nothing/no one precedes it, save the Lord Jesus Himself. I relish that sanctity.
I have had many people tell me over the years that our spending all our time together is not wise. However, is that not what the Lord told us to do? Is not the church to be "attached to the hip" of the Lord Jesus Christ? Are we not to be an example of Christ and His church? No matter the naysayers, we enjoy each other's company, even in the bad times.
There is no other person I can imagine sharing my innermost thoughts, feelings, desires, etc. I think I have confessed much to him in the last few years, that prior only the Lord knew. Dear knows many (if not all already) of my sins. He sees blessings in me, that praise the Lord he can see! Even when I am being me, and not yielding to Christ, he still loves me...What a man!
I appreciate that I have a husband, though not perfect, who desires to see me walk with Christ unswervingly. He wants me to be all Christ desires me to be. He takes seriously his call of God to guide me in the same manner that Christ leads the church. He takes seriously the Bible, period. I know that he is this way because God has been making him this way, since being born again into God's family in 2006. What a rare gift!
I did not earn, merit, or work my way into, this gift of HOLY matrimony. Some of my readers, who know me personally, know that Dear and I came together in an unholy manner. Our marriage did not start out holy. Yet now, by God's mercy and grace, it is holy. We seek to keep our marriage under the guidance of God; because of which we can say we have a "heavenly" marriage.
I used to be ignorant, and stubborn, to the ways of God pertaining to how I was to behave as Dear's wife. Innumerable thanks go to God for softening my heart to how He wants me to be, as well as to those servants who were faithful to Christ in sharing head-on truth and wisdom about the matter.
A great book that aided me much, and opened my eyes, was "Created To Be His Help Meet," by Mrs. Debi Pearl. She told it straight as it is, and did no beating around the bush. She shared the blessings of being a submissive, Godly wife, and the cursings of being the antithesis. I have re-read that book many times, constantly gleaning. The Bible, and her book, have been the two greatest tools in my toolbox.
I love that I have God and Dear seeking me to be a better wife. It is all for Christ's glory! Even when times are difficult, for one reason or another, I can choose to be a Godly wife. I can choose to not do what my flesh knows to do well: sin. I can choose to submit myself to Christ, and see His glory abound. I can choose to be that way, and be hidden in Him. I can, because Christ lives in me.
Because He lives in me, I can say I have a glorious marriage. We still are learning the ropes, but we want to learn them. We delight in one another, (I speak for myself, at least. ;D). Humanly speaking, his is the face I seek in the crowd. His are the arms I seek to comfort and protect me. His is the mind I seek for counsel in the ways of the Lord. He is the one I seek to be my prayer partner. His company is the one I desire most.
I am glad that God has worked so diligently, fervently, unwaveringly, to get me to this place of delight in Dear. I used to find more delight in my girlfriends. I used to find more comfort with my family (biological and church). Yet, God fixed my perspective, by fixing my heart. His word have I hid in my heart, that I might not sin against Him. By so doing, Dear is number 2 in my life, not anyone/thing else. :)
So, what that means in my life these days is that except in rare times (in cases of emergencies, dire needs, etc.), nothing/no one takes away my time that is to be given to him. First comes God, second comes marriage. Dear does not impose on my Bible and prayer time. He does not interfere with me walking with Christ. He cannot tell me to sin against my God, and expect me to do it. In the same way, Jane Doe cannot desire to have a shopping day with me, if that will hinder me from ministering to my husband. She cannot persuade me to neglect my husband and his needs, to fulfill her wants.
It means that Dear-time is sacred time. It means that after he has worked all day, I excitedly wait for his return home! It means that I do not wish to be away from home when he is here. It means that "girl-time" can be when he is not here. There are those rare times when I get together with friends in the evening, but it is not habitual. Just as he gets together with his friends, and I do not wish to take that time away from him; but, it is not habitual. Our togetherness is habitual. :)
I love God, and thank Him much. I love him because He first loved me. I love that He has blessed me with Dear, thanking Him that He has given us an unmerited marriage.