How I'm Learning To Cope, When Relationships Change
We have all heard that saying, that goes something like this:
I tend to stay attached, even when it is not right. So, when I am introduced to a situation, wherein I must remove myself from a relationship...Well, I tend to find a hard time in so doing.
"Some friends are here for a reason; some for a season; some for a lifetime."
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| A Day At The Beach Frederick Morgan |
How do you cope, when you have attached yourself to those, who were not "lifetime" friends?...
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| Sympathy Giclee Print |
Myself, I have been pondering that question, as of late.
I tend to stay attached, even when it is not right. So, when I am introduced to a situation, wherein I must remove myself from a relationship...Well, I tend to find a hard time in so doing.
Thus, if I have a hard time leaving, (on my own), GOD helps me. However, what about those times, that you do not see it right off? You know, where things seem ok...seem healthy...?
In my experience, God orchestrates an opportunity for growth.
Did you also know, that with growth, can come growing "pains?"
As my Heavenly Father, God watches over me. He knows what is best for me; I do not. I have a pretty good record, indicating such.
I have found, that by closely examining the situation, as well as taking a step back to look at the overall picture, I usually can see some reasons why God allowed friendships to end, or change. There are, typically, many reasons: for everyone involved.
I am finding comfort, in the Lord. He knows what He is doing, or allowing to be done. Ultimately, it is for His glory, and that reason is the most important. Yet, the pain has not disappeared.
I am reading His Word. I am praying to Him. I have been, and will be, seeking counsel; or, just a listening ear, from those trusted friends. Most of all, I am seeking Jesus' arms.
I have been thanking Him, for it all: the good, and the bad. Easier said than done, sometimes; but, it is necessary for me, so to do. I know that even with the "bad," there is something good that will come of it. I may not see the good, in my lifetime on this earth, but I know that God always triumphs over evil!
I have been thanking Him for all the lessons He taught me, and is teaching me. I want to use those lessons, as I move forward in my life. I do not want to repeat the errors of the past. Also, I desire to empower others, so as to avoid the pitfalls into which I fell.
I have been sharing with Him my heart. I have been weeping at my Father's feet. I have not sought to hide anything from Him, because He already knows everything. I recognize that fact, and want to allow Him to guide my heart, as I share it with Him.
I try to meditate on His Word. Whether it be passages that come to mind as I pray, or what I read in the Bible, I muse upon them. I try not to lose the opportunity to have my heart and mind saturated, with what my Heavenly Father has for me.
I have acknowledged that what is done, is done. If there were amends to be made, I have sought to make them. If others do not desire amending, I pray. I have been looking for ways to bless: chiefly, it is through praying for them, (in that kind of situation). I am trying not to faint in well-doing towards those whom I have loved, and "lost," so to speak. It may be painful, but for me, it is worth it.
Right now, I see whom the Lord has currently placed in my life. I desire to pour my heart into those folks, as He directs. Is it a phone call? Then, I call. Is it a text? Then, I text them. Is it a visit? Then, we visit. Do I pray? Then, I pray for them. There are so many opportunities that He shows me, and I try not to pass by them.
I am trying not to pass by the people, either. It can be easy to do, when lingering on "what was...what could have been...what should have been..." I have been thanking Him for these folks, and working at cultivating these relationships. It does not mean I have forgotten those loved ones, from yesterday. It means I am seeking to live, in the present.
What happens, though, when as you are ministering to your "new" friends, that memories come flooding from the past? Well, I am trying not to ignore it, but also trying not to "beat a dead horse." I have been using that moment, as an opportunity to pray for those folks that came to mind. I might think about how I could bless them, physically, if at all. If not, I have been praying that the Lord blesses them, on my behalf. All the while, continuing to do whatever it is/was I am/was doing, when they popped into my mind.
Ultimately, I have been trying to keep my focus on Christ: Who He is, what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do. I remember who I am in Him, and who He wants me to be, in this very moment. And, I remember who those folks are.
What about you? How have you handled these moments in your life? I am sure that there are other things that would come to mind, if I thought about it long enough. Why not give you a turn to speak?
I have found, that by closely examining the situation, as well as taking a step back to look at the overall picture, I usually can see some reasons why God allowed friendships to end, or change. There are, typically, many reasons: for everyone involved.
I am finding comfort, in the Lord. He knows what He is doing, or allowing to be done. Ultimately, it is for His glory, and that reason is the most important. Yet, the pain has not disappeared.
I am reading His Word. I am praying to Him. I have been, and will be, seeking counsel; or, just a listening ear, from those trusted friends. Most of all, I am seeking Jesus' arms.
I have been thanking Him, for it all: the good, and the bad. Easier said than done, sometimes; but, it is necessary for me, so to do. I know that even with the "bad," there is something good that will come of it. I may not see the good, in my lifetime on this earth, but I know that God always triumphs over evil!
I have been thanking Him for all the lessons He taught me, and is teaching me. I want to use those lessons, as I move forward in my life. I do not want to repeat the errors of the past. Also, I desire to empower others, so as to avoid the pitfalls into which I fell.
I have been sharing with Him my heart. I have been weeping at my Father's feet. I have not sought to hide anything from Him, because He already knows everything. I recognize that fact, and want to allow Him to guide my heart, as I share it with Him.
I try to meditate on His Word. Whether it be passages that come to mind as I pray, or what I read in the Bible, I muse upon them. I try not to lose the opportunity to have my heart and mind saturated, with what my Heavenly Father has for me.
I have acknowledged that what is done, is done. If there were amends to be made, I have sought to make them. If others do not desire amending, I pray. I have been looking for ways to bless: chiefly, it is through praying for them, (in that kind of situation). I am trying not to faint in well-doing towards those whom I have loved, and "lost," so to speak. It may be painful, but for me, it is worth it.
Right now, I see whom the Lord has currently placed in my life. I desire to pour my heart into those folks, as He directs. Is it a phone call? Then, I call. Is it a text? Then, I text them. Is it a visit? Then, we visit. Do I pray? Then, I pray for them. There are so many opportunities that He shows me, and I try not to pass by them.
I am trying not to pass by the people, either. It can be easy to do, when lingering on "what was...what could have been...what should have been..." I have been thanking Him for these folks, and working at cultivating these relationships. It does not mean I have forgotten those loved ones, from yesterday. It means I am seeking to live, in the present.
What happens, though, when as you are ministering to your "new" friends, that memories come flooding from the past? Well, I am trying not to ignore it, but also trying not to "beat a dead horse." I have been using that moment, as an opportunity to pray for those folks that came to mind. I might think about how I could bless them, physically, if at all. If not, I have been praying that the Lord blesses them, on my behalf. All the while, continuing to do whatever it is/was I am/was doing, when they popped into my mind.
"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith."
Galatians 6:9-10
What about you? How have you handled these moments in your life? I am sure that there are other things that would come to mind, if I thought about it long enough. Why not give you a turn to speak?
I am one who makes friends quickly. It has taken me years to differentiate between being friendly and having a friendship. I need to be careful in this area. I can replace what belongs to God with the earthy value of a friend. Looking to get approval or acceptance instead of striving to please my Lord. I am so greatful for this season in life where the Lord has people who love me and tell me the truth. It has not always been that way. When I look back at friendships that have changed, I can now see areas that were not healthy.
ReplyDeleteLike any relationship, deep Godly friendships take time, work and forgiveness from both sides. Sometimes friendships are onesided.
Oh, such wise words! Thank you for sharing them. It's given me more to think on.
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