I am so thankful for my Lord Jesus Christ. The more I learn about His salvation, wrought for me, the more humbled I am. I did not understand the gravity of His precious gift when I came to Him that day, fourteen and a half years ago, but I understood the gravity of eternal life without Him.
I am so glad that He did not require me to walk a thousand miles on my knees to Him; that He did not require me to be a scholar in the doctrine of salvation; that He did not require anything but faith, repentance, and seeking forgiveness of sins. What wondrous love!
I am ashamed that I backslid. I am ashamed that He paid the price for my sins, and after He became my personal Saviour, I walked away from living for Him! Oh, I was stupid, selfish, rebellious. Yet, on that night that I sought His salvation and received it, He knew I would backslide. What a wonderful Saviour is Jesus my Lord!
I know I set a poor example to my brothers and sisters, family members, friends. I set a poor example for other Christians, too. I did not yield to the pricking of my Lord in my heart; those times that He would catch me unawares, totally immersed in my sinful pleasures. OH, how I wish now that I would have not been stiff-necked!
But, I know I cannot change the past. I know that I must move forward, which I am doing. But, even as Moses before leaving this earth preached to Israel, I am reminded and reminding myself from whence the Lord brought me.
Sure, at twelve years old, I really had not "done" a whole lot, but I still was a sinner in need of salvation. I was living an empty, shallow life. I had no direction, save what my parents tried to instill in me, and that of what felt good to my flesh. I thought I would just go to Heaven, probably because of feeling as though I was pretty good. Yet, through the preaching of His Word, and finally realizing that if I were to die, I would go to Hell: I was able to go to the Throne of Grace and receive salvation!
He brought me even further. As I aged, I wandered. I went pretty low. Many times I wonder now how I could even be where I am, save for the mercy and grace of Christ. I could have been in jail, a hospital, or the grave. I was a prodigal daughter, that is for sure.
Thank the Lord Jesus Christ for being willing and able to save my soul from Hell, even when He knew all that He knew, and knows, about me. I will never be able to comprehend that kind of love. I only pray that others that are going down the path I trod would wake up and see the danger in which they are immersed: so that they can be in right fellowship with the Lord again, leading others to Christ, rather than away from Him.