REALLY Trusting God

 

     It is easy to take things for granted, is it not?  How often do we find ourselves assuming everything will continue as it currently is?  It is not until some trial comes, that we start realizing our shortcomings in these areas.

     When troubles come, it is natural to be fretful.  We worry about how to get out of our uncomfortable position.  Looking for the solution is usually our foremost thought.

     I speak from experience.  Recently, I have been enduring postpartum issues.  For those who have experienced the health woes accompanying the hormonal shifts postpartum, may understand me when I say:  it is not for wimps.

     However, I am a wimp.  I admit it.  I am a weaker vessel, just as the Lord says in the Bible.  I find no shame in accepting this fact; rather, there is much relief in not trying to portray myself as anything other than what I am.

     Thus, my weakness.  I had no control over my body.  It would not function like I wanted:  which would be perfectly.  Yet, that day will not come, until the Lord comes. 

     Resting, light/moderate exercise, and proper eating were the doctor's orders, literally.  Oh, and to know I was not crazy...And, to stop obsessing over my situation.

 

     It was hard, though!  Did they not understand?  Yes.  Did they not care?  Yes.  He even prayed for my family and me! 

     I, ultimately, and most necessarily, needed to trust God.  Moment by moment became my motto.  There is an hymn along those lines, that became a great source of comfort to me.

     I knew that my body needed rest.  I needed help.  I needed to lean upon others, just to help me get through regular, menial tasks.  I was on the receiving end of service, and it was uncomfortable.

     I had, as so many do, grown accustomed to "doing it myself." To allow someone to assist me, showed my vulnerability:  that I was weak, and could not do it all, myself.  However, that is exactly what God wanted me to acknowledge. 

     Dear jumped into action.  He served our family in ways that, normally, I did.  He saw my needs, and by God's grace, sought to meet it.  He did it all, without a fuss.  The vows:  "...In sickness and in health, for rich or for poor..." took on a whole new depth.

     Others, who knew, offered their services.  One, in particular, was just a phone call away... Many phone calls, to be exact!  She had gone through very similar circumstances.  Knowing I had someone so close at hand; who knew exactly what I was enduring; and, when I was struggling to make it through the next few minutes, was a Godsend.

     I was so full of care and unrest.  Though Dear, and others, were quick and consistent to point me to Christ, I had to be the one to rest in Him.  They could not rest for me.  However, they did intercede in prayer, for me.

     It was a daily, and many times moment by moment, task.  Hormones, stress, fear, satanic attacks, all played a part in me not casting my cares upon my Saviour.  God, His love, His word, and prayer, were all  instrumental in me leaving my burdens with Him.

     I had to rest in God.  I was not ever really in control.  Every breath I take, every beat of my heart, is because God allows it to happen.  Could I not trust Him to get me through this difficulty?...Even if it would not go the way I wanted?  Was I willing to die to self?  Was I willing to release my grip on my dreams, my hopes, my desires, and submit to whatever God wanted to do with/through me?

     That was the predominant battle, for me.  Yes, the physical issues were no small matter, and were quite unpleasant.  However, like anything, there is always something from which one may learn in any given situation.  For me, since I had much time to muse upon my lot, I sought to see whatever it was I needed to learn during this time.

     Relationships that had been estranged, were mended.  Put into a position of great physical weakness, I began to see other areas wherein I was weak.  So, using this as an opportunity to make things right, that is exactly what I, and Dear, endeavored to do.

     Learning to submit to God's will for my life, even if it meant suffering in ways I never would have chosen, was a big lesson for me.  It is, daily.  This time in my life, though, made such a large impact in my very soul, that I do not think I will soon  forget it (that is my prayer!). 

     As I started seeing healing take place (by the way, it is still a process I am undergoing, but, it is much easier, so far), I started picking up in my daily tasks.  What I took for granted:  washing dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the floors, cooking, etc...I found myself thanking God for the ability to do them. 

     I could not just jump right back in, though.  It was gradual.  Yet, for each time I was able to once again run the vacuum, or put away our clothes, I was grateful.  I was grateful for our provisions that necessitated my stewardship of them.  I was grateful for the family I have that needed my care.

 

     Ultimately, I was, and still am, grateful for God being my strength.  I cannot even fathom trying to manage these troubles, without Him!  It causes me to shudder at the very thought!

     My encouragement to my sisters in the Lord would be:  trust Him.  I mean, really trust Him.  Especially when things are not going your way.

     I cannot say what that trust would look like, for you.  Each person, each situation, is obviously different.  I may experience a different trial, and trusting Him will look different than this go 'round.  However, I know I have gained strengths from this time, that will equip me for today, and tomorrow.  The same is for you, if you allow God to have His way with you.

     A verse of Scripture that was of great comfort to me, that I would like to share with you:

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee:  for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." 2 Corinthians 12:9