Well, the Lord has continued to prepare us for many things: the remembrance of His death, and our future (both near and far). I am glad, though, that He is causing our attention to the details of preparation. He wants His children to be good stewards, and the countless testimonies I have heard of those who prepared well in advance for their future, has pricked my heart.
I had never personally seen anyone who prepared well for the future. It was not, really, until I came here that I saw it. I am not saying that there were not people around me who were doing it, but that I never really saw it. Yet, since the Lord added us to this church, He has done some real eye-opening for us.
I know that there are some who would think it morbid to start preparing a will, life insurance policies, etc., when we are still in our twenties. Yet, the Lord could call us Home at any given time--I want those left behind not to be stressed out over the fine details that I could have very easily taken care of while still alive on earth. Though I am thinking on all these things, I do hope that the Lord will allow Dear and I plenty of time here on earth for kids and such. However, I am not God, so I try to rest in the fact that He knows best, not "Renee knows best."
With regards to the Lord's Supper, I am thankful that He is preparing me for it. So many things needed weeded out, still do. But, He brought a lot to head recently, though it was painful, I am so glad I go through His refining fire, not that of another.
He is also making me more and more aware of how precious He ought to be to me. I am amazed at His capacity to love me, in spite of the fact that I do not fully comprehend Him, appreciate Him, understand the full sacredness of His sacrifice, and more. He knew all these things, yet still saved my wretched and vile soul. He knows me, and still He allowed me to be His own. It is too much for me to comprehend!
I love Him for loving me, in spite of who I am, what I have done, what I will do. He loves my soul! What He did for me that night, when I humbly came to Him, repenting of my sins, seeking His salvation and forgiveness: I never realized all that came with it! The more I draw closer to Him, the more wretched I am: for not appreciating Him like I should have, and should today; for realizing the depth of consequences for my sins, and how He suffered them for me; how He chose to save me when I was twelve years old, knowing that later I would choose to walk a very shallow walk with Him, then backslide for a few years; AND, HE STILL SAVED ME.
I do not deserve Heaven. I do not deserve Jesus Christ as my King, Saviour, and Friend. BUT, THAT IS WHO HE IS TO ME! He wanted, and wants, to be that for me! How can I possibly comprehend that love? I am so thankful that He loves me enough to refine me more to His image.