Oh, how I long to just talk face-to-face with my Lord. I do not desire to leave those I love behind any time soon, but I feel that if I could be with Jesus, it would be all better. I would not have these pains from trials and tribulations anymore; I could just rest in His arms. I wish for that now, as I struggle inwardly, yet again.
I do not understand. I feel so completely incompetent for the Lord God--I fail miserably so often, when it comes to loving Him the way I should. I fear that maybe some times I go through the motions day-by-day, instead of reverently loving Him daily: thankful for the opportunity. However, some days my heart aches, for I know I am not loving God as I should. How horrible am I?
How is God's long-suffering love possible? I know He knows me, yet I have never seen Him face-to-face. He knows me so intimately well, and that I right well know. I cannot explain it. I just know He knows me, is putting up with me, and loving me all the same. WHY? I do not deserve Him. How can I ever love Him enough?
My heart is incapable of the love God is due from me. Too many times in my life have I suffered the agony of not serving Him; not living for Him, though He saved my soul. He DIED for me, ROSE for me, makes INTERCESSION for me--yet, I am incapable of loving Him enough, or adequately. Oh, how I wish I could--my heart's only true desire!
People do not know what love they miss out on when they do not get saved. How can I explain this love God has for them? Will my family ever know His gracious love, before it is too late? I do not want to leave here, 'til they do. It is the most blessed gift: to want to love Him, serve Him, please Him, know Him--that I could ever have. He is always there, and always will be. No one can take that from me.