... So many thoughts flood my mind, when I start to muse upon what it has held for us...
For me, the most overshadowing aspect of this year, has been the arrival of our son. Many times, I have tried to imagine life without him; and, oh, how different it was! Our lives have most definitely been enriched by his presence.
|Copyright 2015 Molding Into A Lady|
As I think about our Li'l Man, and the absolute miracle he is, I cannot help but thank God. I thank Him for giving us our long-awaited child. I thank Him, too, for all that I am learning, as I care for this gift.
I cannot recall the multitude of thoughts that flood my soul, when I think upon the Lord, as He is my Heavenly Father. I am gaining a much better appreciation, and understanding, of His love... Something, (for those who know me well, understand), I have constantly struggled at grasping. Even those who do not share the same pitfalls and complications as myself, getting an inkling of God's amazing love is a lifelong venture.
As I watch various loved ones shower our beloved son with love, I cannot help but ponder the feelings God has when we show HIS beloved Son love. I know that my heart swells with love and appreciation for those who rejoice with us over our Li'l Man, and sacrifice time to spend with/for him. Again, I cannot help but think that God is overflowing with love, for those who receive His Son, who love Jesus Christ with all their being, and sacrifice time to spend with Him.
In these musings, are great lessons for me. Though I appreciate seeing the comparisons, it is also humbling; for, admittedly, I do not lavish love upon my Saviour as I ought--as He deserves. Yet, even in my failures, God has not forsaken me. Selah.
The time we had prior to Li'l Man's arrival, was one of greater reliance upon Christ, than I believe I have experienced thus far. Becoming a mother was such a foreign aspect to me, though greatly desired. Even though there were many things I could do, to seek the best outcome in this pregnancy and ensuing delivery, we both knew full well that we could not trust in the arm of the flesh. Learning to trust the Lord, in many new ways, was a humbling experience. It also taught me so much more about my Lord's heart towards my husband, unborn son, and myself, than ever I knew.
I, particularly, learned to lean upon Christ, even more than ever. I became even more vulnerable with Him, though many times it shamed me to confess things deep within my heart to Him. I knew, though, that He already knew those things... I simply needed to share it with Him, and allow Him to correct what needed correcting, heal what needed healing, comfort what needed comforting, encourage what needing encouraging... Just let Him love me.
Though I have learned that He is my truest Friend, there are so many times my initial response is to fear what comes at me. He knows this part of me, and has consistently shown a gentleness that is beyond comparison... Beyond description...
When this year welcomed fears, sorrows, and disappointments, He was ever ready to alleviate my troubled soul. He walked me through every burden. He was the One who gifted me with the amazing gift of being with child, being delivered of a man child, all for His honor. The account I get to share, regarding my time of pregnancy and delivery, is one of His Hand of care.
He was the One who provided every need for our son. Many loved ones, and a few acquaintances, were used of Christ to bless us beyond measure, in the event of Li'l Man's arrival. One time in particular left me in tears, as I sat surrounded by items in our living room, bestowed upon us by folks who barely new us.
So much of this year's lessons for me, revolve around the advent of our son. I never imagined such gifts from God. I plan on sharing more, as I continue addressing our story in a new, upcoming series.
So much of what I have experienced, was not my ideal. When allowed, those things birthed the antithesis of God's expressed desires for me. Yet, time after time, God reminded me of this:
1.) Just because things do not go in the way I had hoped or envisioned, does not mean I need to be continually sad about it. Instead, learn from the situation what I can, share with Him my heart, give thanks for all things praiseworthy, and stay focused on that which the Lord has called for me to do.
2.) Lean upon HIM. Do not allow my thoughts and emotions to be dictated by my flesh, but rather, His word. I cannot express fully, the peace that comes when put to practice!
3.) PRAY. I can never pray so much as to exhaust Him. He delights in my reliance upon Him. He longs for me to communicate with Him. Getting alone with Him, be it long or short, is never a waste.
I learned much this year from God. I learned more about His love: that overwhelming love, that undoes the hardest of hearts. I learned more of His suffering long with me: when I fail in trusting Him, over the same issue(s), He ever faithfully teaches me, again, to trust Him. I am learning to contentedly accept the fact that sometimes, and many times, there are disappointments: be it self-induced, the effects of another's sin(s), or part of God's plan.
I am learning of Jesus, in a much richer context. Just as in marriage you can never fully know your spouse, so, too, I do not fully know my Saviour. However, He is teaching me more of Himself! How wonderful it is, to be in a very real relationship with my God and my Lord!
2015 A.D. has been a spiritually-enriching year for us. We have been blessed with many lessons from our Heavenly Father; many new acquaintances, who share the same Father as we; and, we have been given the opportunity to enrich our lives as a family, with the new titles of "Papa" and "Mama." We are so blessed, indeed!
"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5-6
"Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content." Philippians 4:11
"Rejoice evermore. Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18