Yesterday was my father's birthday, and it was a little difficult for me. I know that he is in the best place in which to celebrate anything, but for a little bit of time I was selfish and wanted him here with me. However, I am thankful that I was able to lean on the Lord for comfort, and again He provided it for me.
My mother had called me to see how we children were doing. She noticed it was his birthday, and figured it might have been a discomfiting day for us. It was nice to be able to talk with her, and indeed get some comfort from talking to my only living parent.
Later on in the day, I was able to talk with Dear my husband about my father. He had not realized that it was my dad's birthday yesterday, and had been thinking of him throughout the day. The main thing on his mind, in regards to Dad, was the last thing he ever said to him: "Never give up on God."
I cannot tell you how hard that was for me to hear. It still is difficult to swallow. Oh, do not get me wrong. I am not mad at God or anything of that nature. It is hard because I watched him in his last days; and how he never gave up on God, even in the horrifying last stages.
"Never give up on God," is a phrase I am not likely to ever forget. The man who led me to the Lord, was being led to the Lord just a few days after he mentioned it to my husband. The man who prayed with me so that I would get saved, reminded my husband and me to love the Lord with your entire being.
Granted, life with him was very hard--sin had its influence in him as it does with all of us, every day. Yet, he still loved the Lord and tried his hardest to live for God with what he knew. I can see now, (as an adult and more learned Christian), how difficult life can be when you do not let go of trying to live life in your strength, and let God live through you. I also see God's infinite wisdom and mercy, His amazing grace and peace, and the power He gives to those who never give up on Him.
I thank Him above for giving me one year in which I was able to work with my father, in creating the best relationship we ever had in our entire lifetime together. I thank God that my father professed to be a believer in Jesus Christ. I am also thankful that He gave me the opportunity to be with him as he passed away from this life. I am determined, as is my husband, to indeed: "Never give up on God."