Well, I know I have not written in here for a while. That is due to the fact that on July 31, 2006, my father went into the hospital for back pain, and found out that he had stage four cancer. One month later he died.
I was able to be with him five days before he went Home to Jesus. From the first time he went to the hospital, 'til I went to Ohio, I was on the phone with him. I made sure I would call him every day; something inside of me knew I did not have long with him--but at the same time I thought I had all the time in the world with him.
I remember he told me once I walked into his hospital room, "I'm glad to see ya sweetie, just not under these circumstances." He asked me what I thought of the situation, and I let him know that I was glad to be with him, but I that I did not like seeing him endure such pain. He reminded me that God was allowing it for a reason. I am still looking for that reason.
I know he is in a better place now, (that old cliche, but it is so true). It is where all saved souls go when it is their time. However, it has been difficult for me. When I came back home, I wanted to just pick up the phone and call Dad: I could call him anytime, and he would talk with me for hours! Now, I have to wait until I am in Heaven to talk to him.
Do not get me wrong, though. I would not wish him back here, ever. His body was so entangled with the cancer and other complications, that his life would not have had much quality to it; if any at all. He would have been a vegetable. That is not who my dad was. Sure, we had our problems, and a lot of wrong was done by his hand--BUT, he was still the father God gave me, and I will love him always.
God has blessed me with a superb support system. My husband has been so wonderful through this experience, and the church family in which God has placed me has been absolutely marvelous! I have been given such love and support that I have never known. It has been truly a blessing.
I just keep praying that God gives me strength, comfort, and the wisdom needed to grow from this experience. I cannot allow it to drag me down, or keep me at a standstill. I must move forward and serve God diligently, happily, and willingly with all my heart and soul. Experiencing my father go to our Heavenly Father was difficult, but not impossible to bear. God will see me through this time, and that is cause alone to give thanks. Most of all, though, is that my dad got the greatest gift of all--To go Home to our Saviour!